Vampire Whore
by She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Sane
Summary: What if bella knew about vampires before she moved to forks?The real question is how she knew?Is it so horrible that she doesn't want them to know? Does she even trust them? Is that the reason why she isn't a virgin anymore? NOT for kids MATURE only! R&R
1. intro

"Honey are you sure"? My mother Renee asked. I decided that I wanted to have some "quality time" with my father Charlie. Well at least that's what my mother thought, and that's all she needed to know. The truth is I just wanted to get the hell out of here. And I now have a perfect excuse. I can just simply say "oh well my mom and stepfather needed some time to each other".

I hate it here! Too much bad memories here. None I want to remember at all. I said good bye to my mother and boarded on the plane. Goodbye Phoenix it was never nice knowing you. I sat down on one of the squishy chairs, declining the revolting food from the not so nice lady.

I took a deep breath. Ugh! I need a smoke! I guess I have to wait in till we get of the plane. Or do I? I quickly went to the bathroom, it was so tiny. I took out a cigarette from my pack and lighted it. I smoked for a couple more minutes. Then I threw the cigarette bud in the trash can. I swiftly went back to my seat. That calmed me down a little.

We finally landed in Port Angeles. I grabbed my luggage. And looked around for Charlie. I finally found him. I walked towards him "hey Ch- Father". He turned around "Oh hey bells" He said in delight I guess. He grabbed my suitcases. We went into his police car. I can already tell this is going to be a quiet ride.

0XxXxX0

After I got all my stuff in my room. I regretfully went to sleep. I guess I am going to school tomorrow. Just the like in Phoenix. I woke up screaming with the same nightmare and couldn't get anymore sleep. So I decided to have another smoke. I knew it was a bad habit, but hey at least it somewhat kept me calm.

After that I took a long hot shower. When I was done with that I looked at the clothes to see what to wear. Hmmmm…. maybe- Nah. Ah! Yes perfect. I finally looked in the full length mirror. I was wearing black ripped skinny jeans with a plain white tank top with a black safety pin on it. With the new black leather jacket that just came out, with my black fergalicious high heels. Last but not least I had my eye shadow that had a smokey look to it, along with my black eyeliner. I was ready to go. I looked perfect, except for all those scars all over my body. I shuddered in disgust at the memory.

I looked in the mirror one last time and said "I will be brave. I will smile, and when someone asks me how are you? I will say fine. I will not show my weakness". I went downstairs and into my white Lamborghini.

I pulled into the very small school parking lot. I looked around at the cars. Uh the only nice car here is the silver Volvo. Well that just sucks. I headed to the main office. When I got there, their was only one person there. She looked like she was in her mid-thirties. She had orange hair turning into gray in some places, and had a purple t-shirt on. "Hey" I said getting her attention. She looked up startled "Oh" she said looking at me. "I am Isabella Swan" I said getting really bored.

"Oh" she said again she got up and grabbed some papers "Here is your schedule and a map of your school. And here a slip for all your teacher's to sign; you hand the slip to me after school". Fuck that. I rudely grabbed the papers out of her hand. I was heading out the door when I scrunched up the slip that my "teachers" were supposed to sign and threw it behind me and hitting the office lady in the face. Leaving behind a very surprised lady. Ha!

School passed in a blur. I met a few people but I didn't bother talking to them. I was finally at lunch. I quickly grabbed a apple and a bottle of lemonade for lunch. A girl named Jessica invited me to sit with her for lunch. I told her fuck no, her face was priceless.

I sat down in the far corner where everybody avoided. I wonder why? Oh well there loss. I took a book out from my bag and began to read. All of a sudden there was a light but very cold tap on my shoulder. I knew that cold touch anywhere. Vampire. How did they find me? What are they going to do with me? Calm down I yelled in my mind. They couldn't have found you not yet anyways.

I slowly looked up to see a pixie looking vampire staring at me with bright gold eyes. Oh god those are the worst kind of vampires. I looked behind her to see four more vegetarian vampires. I couldn't even move now. How did they get here? Why are they here? Please don't tell** they** sent these vampires to get me back.

She then suddenly interrupted my train of thought by saying: "You are in our spot". T-t-t-this is there table. Oh god I feel sick, I can't move. I noticed the blonde male looking at me confused. "Um hello" the pixie girl waved a hand in front of my face. Oh god! Her hand is so pale, like the other vampires. No no no no!

Then all of a sudden everything went dark.


	2. so much worse

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews so far, keep them coming**

I am absolutely afraid of the dark. I know I must sound childish to you. And the reason why I'm afraid of the dark is because of the big bad monsters that creep in your shadows. Or the ones that hide under your bed to grab your ankles when you try to get out of bed. I just wish that people would tell the truth for once. Every time your parents tuck you in at night and say that there is nothing to be afraid of in the dark. That there is no such thing of monsters, it's just your imagination running wild. Why do they keep lying to us! Doesn't anyone care!

No they don't. Why should they? They never had to face the grasps of reality, they've never had to actually see those monsters that lurk under your bed at night or be even with them. So no they don't care. I start seeing stuff again in the dark and I don't like, I don't like at all. So much blood and the venom is drenched everywhere. How am I going to escape? I c-can't think about it. No! Stop!

N-no I can feel **them**, their here. It's so dark here. I can't escape if I can't see. I see red every where the world is spinning. Make it stop! Stop, stop, stop! I woke up in a jolt, painting heavily staring wildly around the room. Where am I? I have no recollection of how I got here. Then I remembered all of it. Oh no vampires. What are they going to do? Did they put me in this insane room that's way too white to be normal.

I saw the white door creak open. I frantically crawled to one of the corner walls on the bed, and huddled up in a ball. It was another vegetarian vampire. Make it stop, make it stop I yelled mentally. He was in a white lab coat or something similar. What is up with white! He had pale blonde hair, and of course had terrifyingly amazing gold eyes.

He said "Good Isabella your awake". Was he going to torture me, was that the reason why he wanted me awake. To feel the pain, that's what **they** always did. Waked me up so I can feel there torturous sessions with me. He must have seen the terror in my eyed. So he quickly said "I am not going to hurt you Isabella. Please trust me". Trust his kind no thank you. I already had been down that road, and a fat load it did me.

"So Isabella what happened. My kids said you fainted right in front of them". Wait what kids? There his kids. Oh fuck! He went over and touched my head lightly. As soon he touched me I acted differently. I don't exactly know why. It's just ever since then, I acted different to there touch especially for male vampires. I went into a haze my eyesight kind of glazed over. I was just a spectator.

"What do you think you're doing leech" I snapped. Oh no the looks of his expression screamed that he didn't know that I knew that vampires and other things exist. That's just peachy. "What did you say"? He said after his little recovery of shock. I just couldn't stop myself "You heard me. You stupid fucking bloodsucker" I all but screamed. Oh no I'm done for.

"How do you know"? He said not bothering with the charade anymore. "Why would I tell you, you're a monster, your scum that no one ever bothered to clean up" I spat at him."Please we make no harm. See we don't hunt human's we hunt animals." He said thinking saying that would ease my anger. It just fueled it even more."That's even worse" I started yelling now. "What do-" he was cut off by some one busting open the door. It was the vampires from school. Double fuck!"What's going on Carlisle"? The bronze one asked. "Nothing" I replied in a monotone voice. His eyes snapped to me. It was filled so much anger and hunger. I was used to that kind f stares. But somehow his stares kept on stabbing at me, just like **there's** did.

**A/N: please, please review, please it will make me happy**


	3. Golden Eyes

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"Carlisle"? The bronzed haired guy said uncertainly. "Nothing it's just that this particular person seems to know our secret". I hissed when he said those words. "Really what secret"? I said taunting them to see there reaction, I mean come on. How else am I gonna make the vampire race pay for what they did? Sit there and say bite me, yeah that's right.

The doctor Carlisle looked at me with confusion. "You just told me" He said more firmer then before."Are you sure I really did tell you doc."? I said in a seductive voice that I never heard before, see told you they make me do rash things. I looked up from my eyelashes into his golden eyes…..Golden eyes, that's all repeated in my mind, that's all I was directed on. All I saw was golden eyes that filled my vision.

Dimly I heard Carlisle stutter out some words of an explanation. And he was on top of me very fast like he was the predator and I was his prey, but no he didn't want my blood. He wanted my body. He started kissing me very passionately and urgently, like if we stopped kissing he would die. What was going on! He was so fast I didn't have time to react. But I didn't no couldn't stop either.

It was like I was connected to him. I so badly wanted to stop, but my body wouldn't let me. It was like my body had a mind of its own. But thankfully the other vampires reacted quickly. One of them, I didn't see who it was, pried him off me. I noticed it was the other blonde male, he held Carlisle with his hand's behind his back in the corner the furthest to me.

Carlisle's eyes were not gold but pitch black. I was gasping uncontrollably for breathe, I was so hot. It was like I was on fire. I was shaking now; suddenly there were waves of calm washing through my whole entire body. I don't know why but it infuriated me instead. I stood it up, no what am I doing! Stop I yelled mental, stop, stop, stop!

Then another weird thing happened, the bronze hair fell. Like was knocked down by some invisible force. The big burly one ran in vampire speed to him. The female blonde ran to me. She grabbed like how the blonde male grabbed Carlisle. I screamed a high pitched sound, I was getting really terrified. I started seeing black again.

"No" a terrified girl screamed the poor little girl kept repeating it over and over. Then I realized it was me, I was the poor terrified girl screaming. I suddenly stopped and I fully blacked out. I woke up on a white coach. I jolted up when I realized what just happened earlier. I looked around to see where I was this time. What's up with people taking me to different places when I faint? I mean come on, can't they just be losers that don't care and leave me where I was.

I had a weird feeling that people were watching me. I looked it was white colors yet again, but with other colors that were pale too. The vampires were sitting on a chairs and a coach, I noticed that there was another vampire added to this already big group. She was female had caramel hair and gave this motherly feeling .Sick. She looked at me with concern but with a mixture of wariness.

I looked more around and saw Carlisle was the furtherest from, go figure the one I felt weirdly comfortable around is away form me. Well I guess its best; I don't want to be comfortable around vampires, I don't want to be around them period.

I smiled a bitter smile, "so I take it the talk didn't go well"? The blonde one that was holding me before hissed at my words, I flinched at her response. "We just wanted to talk to you dear" the sick motherly one stated. I spat "that is not my name! And anyways why do you need to "Talk" "? I was standing up now, as I did this, it was like a train reaction. They stood up, though Carlisle was more hesitant. I smirked at that, good at least he is afraid of me, though I don't really know why. But I'm not complaining.

"We are not going to hurt you Bella" I flinched at the name I didn't bother correcting her I just went on. "Oh yeah tell that to the doc. He was the one that attacked me". I said almost yelling at the end. "And I am sorry, for that I didn't know what came over me". He said his voice was so sincere. I almost believed him _almost_. "Sure, am I supposed to believe that"!

"Of course not, but it would help if you did" he said I wanted so bad to go over there and-and what? Punch him, kiss him? I couldn't decide which to do yet, I was leaning on punching him, though I probably get hurt more then he would and break my hand not to mention.

I turned my attention else where, I spotted the Bronze haired guy. He was staring at me frustrated, "what are you looking at" I said without thinking. "Nothing I just can't read you" he said dazed like he wasn't aware he was saying this. What the hell is that supposed to mean! Well I at least can tell you I won't be able to leave this place anytime soon. God did I mention I hate vampires!

**A/N: please review more please, please, please!**


	4. Power or not?

**A/N: Love the reviews, please f you will review more, and I will try to update more often and make it longer**

I sighed in defeat and slumped back down on the white couch, sensing there is nothing I could right _now_. "So what am I supposed to do"? I muttered, the bronze haired guy replied to that quickly, too quickly. "We will keep you here for a couple of days or longer depending on if you're dangerous or not" he said in a serious tone. I scoffed when he said if your dangerous or not, me dangerous ha! Shouldn't I be worried about them and not they worried about me.

"What about Charlie he would _definitely _worry about me being missing" I argued in a half attempt .The pixie vampire piped in and said "I already took care of that, he thinks you are having a slumber party here with me and Rosalie". Uh so the blonde girl is Rosalie, go figure. "One more thing" I said in a bored tone, wanting to get this over with. "What's that"? Carlisle asked. "What are the rest of the family's name, if I am going to be held captive I want to know the captor's names. You know for all intention and purposes" I said in the same boring dull tone. "Oh yeah right" Carlisle said "Well my wife's name is Esme" and he pointed to the caramel haired women. "And there is Edward, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper" He finally finished. Hmmmmm…His name is Edward, It fits somehow.

"So how do you know about us"? Alice said, saying the words I most dreaded in this conversation. I almost started hyperventilating. "Well you know umm just like any other vampire story so yeah". They all just stared at me like I was crazy, hey maybe I am. But Edward wasn't he just stared at me with concern. I shuddered at the thought of it. "I am serious" Alice said thinking what I said was a joke, newsflash it wasn't!"So am I" getting very agitated.

"You're serious, Tel me please. I can't Just see it we are going to be best friends" She gushed all at once. Was she on crack (the bad kind)? I will never ever, ever, ever be associated in any way needed or wanted wit a bloodsucking monster I mentally yelled I yelled so loud in my mind I got a bit of headache, and what happened in the hospital with Edward. Happened again, he fell of the chair he was on clutching his head. What the fuck!

"What's wrong" Esme wailed in a worried tone. He stood up and still partly clutching his head. "Nothing it's just the thought was getting a little too loud, would you please stop yelling" He replied. What, what thoughts? "Um Edward none of us were yelling in our head, maybe Bella did"? Jasper stated. "She couldn't have I can't read her thoughts". He can read minds, fuck! "Wait a second you can read minds"? I asked more yelled but still.

"Oh yeah we didn't tell you that we have powers" Alice said excitedly. Ugh they have powers also, what else is next they are nice as well! "No you didn't" starting to get a little insecure. If he can read minds then he can read mine, but didn't he said that was impossible. Finally some good luck! "Yeah I can see the future, Jasper can feel emotions and control them, and of course Edward can read minds". Carlisle butted in" Wait Edward did you just you couldn't read her mind"? "Yeah when I try to it just comes up blank like she is not even here". Ha in your face least he isn't able to know my secrets. "Hmm interesting Edward, Alice try seeing her". What am I, a lab rat! Alice nodded her head and her eyes glazed over like she was staring off into to space, she did that for about five minutes then her face scrunched up. " I can barley see her, it's blurry though and gives me a headache and every few minutes she goes blank like as Edward said she isn't here, like she doesn't exist it's weird". Then Carlisle's face looked concern "interesting very interesting, Jasper can you read her emotions"? Hello! I am right here don't talk about me like I'm not here! "Yeah it comes in clear maybe even too clear, like I feel it more. Like it's more powerful so much more emotion then anybody in the world". Everybody was silent after he said that. "Maybe she has a power" Emmett suggested. I got so mad. I heard Jasper mutter "uh oh". Yeah he better be worried. "Hey can you see me" I yelled and jumped right up from the couch "Because it sure feels like you can't, you know if you want to know you could just ask. Try this out hey Bella do you have any power that we should know about? Or maybe just leave me alone" My face started getting red.

"I-I'm sorry we didn't think"-I butted in of Alice trying to apologize "Yeah you didn't think Alice you Vampires never do! You just act, and what you monsters don't realize that EVERYTHING HAS A COSAQUENSE NO MATTER HOW IMMORTAL YOU ARE! You are not above the law of karma, no one is"! I was panting at the end of my little speech. Jasper suddenly stood in front of me. "Don't ever talk to my Alice like that" He snarled.

I just starred in his eyes, his golden eyes. So beautiful pools and pools of gold, you could get lost in them. I just want to kiss them to make them never close. What am I-mmmmm Gold. "No" Alice cried but she just sounded so far away. Jasper lunged at me like Carlisle and kissed passionately and roughly. But he was going farther then Carlisle he ripped of my white tank top. And pushed me against the wall moaning in pleasure.

All of a sudden I saw flashes of people, people I did and didn't know. Now I was in a field and there were dead bodies everywhere and horses. It was a war. Why was I in a war? I turned around and I saw Jasper on one of those horses, he was human! And to my horror he was talking to three female vampires. What were they saying? I wasn't close enough to hear, Then all of a sudden the middle vampire bit Jasper! I gasped and I opened my eyes. I was back at the vampire's house. And I felt the burn of a vampire bite. I looked towards Jasper and saw him biting my neck. Uh oh! And I blacked out yet again. To hear the other vampire screaming. And nUmbly feling some other vampire holding me in there arms

**A/N: What do you think, please review!**


	5. Green?

**A/N: Please review! Please, please, it inspires me more=}**

I feel so ecstatic! I feel like I am going to explode with joy! This meadow is so wonderful! I look down and notice that I am in a white ball gown and I am twirling in circles around the breath taking meadow. I just forget about my worries and my fears. I am just so fucking peaceful no better yet …HAPPY!

I haven't felt like this in years. "But it always comes back" I whimper. And the second I said those words suddenly the meadow got very dark. And my beautiful white dress is ruined! It's stained with red and black some even transparent silvery colored blotches!

No, no, no, NO! I try to run but everything is on fire. My meadow is on fire. The flowers are wilting; the color of the grass is turning into an ugly dead brown. I guess I am on fire, but who cares about that I'm used to it. No I am worried about this beautiful place turning into ashes!

All I see is red, oh no! No, NO stop it!

I wake up with a jolt and gasping for dear life, I look around and it seems I am in a mini hospital. Like Carlisle brought some of the hospital home. I began to pull my covers off when I noticed something connected to my hand. Ugh, needles. I rip it off and my covers too. I look into the full length mirror on the side of the wall. I see a patch on my neck. I rip off, to see a bite mark very recent at that. Then the incident with Jasper and the eyes and the dream I just had came tumbling into my mind at once.

I choke out air and grab the nearest wall for support. Oh grow up Bella who cares, nothing you never dealt with before. My mind evilly replies to my actions. Oh well just another scar added to my body. It's not like I don't have enough of those I thought sarcastically.

I sighed with that, and leave my brief but very scary dream behind. I can't think about it…..ever! I slowly climb down the stairs, and make my way to my death squad. I stop in the living room. And see everyone but Alice and Jasper. Ha serves them right, though I don't know wh-Stop! Stop brain stop don't go there please!

"Um Bella are you alright"? Esme said more hesitant then ever. I bit back my retort and gave a curt nod. "How are you Bella, I sucked out the venom. So you don't have to worry about turning into a vampire. I am and everyone including Jasper is sorry for what he did. We didn't expect this" Carlisle replied to my nod.

"Honey I worry about that every single day, so no sweat" I laugh bitterly sweet. I SHOULDN'T

HAVE DONE THAT! I yell in my brain, I then see Edward flinch like he was about to get hit. So I took back my words. Before they could register. "What do you mean"? Carlisle asked confused. And looking confused and relieved at once. I bit my lip and looked at the window, I AM GOING CRAZY I was about to scream that in my head, but then I saw a flash of Edward wincing and falling down by some unknown force and bite back my words again. And whisper "_I_ don't know…. I think" I sound so weak and vulnerable damn it! Curse you! "Scratch that Doc. _you_ don't want to know, because in reality it's complicated, messy, and just so damn boring" I said to correct what I said I don't care what anyone says about it but I don't want no one to know that I am weak at any moment!

And I have **Them **to thank for that. For teaching me that valuable lesson. I still remember that day hell those years. For making me constantly on edge, on my guard. Never ever, ever trusting anyone. Making me scarred for life emotional and physically. **Those** stupid bastards using me, taunting me, and lying to me. Some day I don't know how but I will make them pay! I look up to see not Carlisle's golden eyes but Edward's. I gasp because right in front of my very own eyes they turn bright shocking leaf green. WHAT THE FUCK!

**A/N: Sooooooooooooo what ya think? Please, please, please, tell me! Review!Review! Pretty, pretty lease with a cherry on top and sprinkles on the bottom *I giggles and smiles **

*** ^suicide puh-lease^ +=live life none other to fullest=+ $full of death$**

**Love, Mrs. James Roday=)**


	6. I had no Idea

**A/N: Please review, pretty, pretty please!**

I gasped and went further away from him. I need to get out of here! It's reminding me of **them**, and how I am around any stupid bloodsuckers! They just get in my head, and I go all crazy! I fucking loathe those stupid creatures. Just wait, just wait I don't know how I am but I am going to destroy every single vampire!

"_Ha, ha my darling you really thinking of destroying all the vampires from this dimension ha how poetic"_ a voice just whispered in my head "What do you mean" I replied back mentally of course. _"Well the fact you're a whole future is revolved around them, it just uh….. How should I say this to make you understand hmmm… no future equals no life". _"_I_ don't care as long as there ridden from this world I'm okay"!

"_Such a foolish little girl, just wait in till your time is here then you would have to keep them, you little fool". _The disembodied voice laughed crazily. What the fuck is happening, why is there a voice in my head! I am going crazy! _Shush little baby just attack, let in your instincts"_. What- I couldn't finish my thought, because everything just went blurry, then clearer then ever. I felt like everything was linked to me, it felt creepy, but exhilarating at the same time.

Just then I heard someone giggling, crazy giggling though. I suddenly knew where I was. I was flat against a wall, facing five vampires staring wary eyed at me. Then I realized that I was the one giggling, I tried to force my mouth to stop but it was no use. I might as well have tried to break a diamond with my teeth then stop my giggles.

Then of course being me with my freak of nature, I started talking which really I didn't know what I was saying…that much. "Uh oh someone has been a bad boy" I said then walking over to Emmett I think he was. He stared at me like I just told him; he really was a girl and not a boy. Well can you blame him though I am crazy, did I mention that yet?

"Uh what do you mean" he asked. I gigged yet again and said "Well you can lie to your wife, your mother, even your brother. But you can't lie to me, no you can't" cue giggling. His mouth was hanging open now. "Bella are you feeling okay"? Asked Carlisle. I giggled "Peachy" I rounded on Emmett again "So tell me how did it feel" I smiled widely. When I said this it must have pissed off Rosalie or something. "What do you mean" Rosalie snapped "Ha, ha isn't I obvious my dears"? I looked around the room.

Carlisle came to me to feel my temperature "Are you sure you're okay"? He asked again. I smiled and leaned towards his ear whispering fully knowing that all of them could still here me and saying "Can I tell you a secret"? I saw him shiver when I whispered. I smiled again at the thought. He nodded I can feel the nervousness radiating off him. "Well you see I want to know you, can I know you"? I leaned back just a little to look at his not golden but now Sea blue eyes.

I smiled in awe at his eyes. A beautiful magic this is. I am not the girl who should be this dangerous, but it's surely not my fault. Just then Alice and Jasper busted through the door. Carlisle looked there way in confusion. But I couldn't part with the magic, so I put my hand on his chin, and I made him look back at me. The blue eyes! "No Carlisle"! Yelled Alice. But I interrupted what she was going warn Carlisle about.

"So can I"? I asked more innocently then I led on. I yet again heard Jasper mutter "Uh oh". "S-s-sure" Carlisle stuttered. "Okay but I must warn you that my way to getting to know someone is little different then others". He just merely nodded. I slid my hand I had in his chin towards the back of his head and clutched his hair.

I kissed him very passionately, running my heads through his silky blonde hair. I made sure to recognize ever part of him; his mind, his soul, his heart, and his aura. I head Esme gasp in surprise and anger, but all cared about for now is Carlisle. I heard Carlisle moan in delight. He pushed me against the wall. Then suddenly I got swept away in I'm guessing one of Carlisle's memories.

***Carlisle's Memory***

"_Father Do I really must go on these hunts in the company of you" Said_ _the human Carlisle. He was beautiful then too, he had the same golden hair and sea blue eyes, but he was wearing I am guessing 16__th__ century clothes. "Yes you must, its crucial that you be acquainted with these things for when you take over the family business" Said Carlisle's father. He had some resemblance, he also had golden hair, but he had gray eyes. And also some of his hair was turning gray, his eyes also showed lots of wisdom. _

_The human Carlisle sighed at that "If I must father" And him and his father walked out of there mansion…. _

_**0o0o0o0o0o0o0**_

_Now suddenly the human Carlisle was in cemetery wearing a back suit, silently crying there were fifty or more seats behind, but all were vacant. He was looking down at a headstone that read in very nice calligraphy:_

_**R.I.P**_

_**Here lies Charlie Cullen**_

_**A brilliant father**_

_**And a wonderful Husband**_

_**May he lay in peace with God**_

_He definitely looked older, especially since his father passed away. I feel sorry for him. Then all of sudden we were in middle of an alley, he was carrying a torch. And was running to my horror towards a vampire. How can he be so childish? I looked more closely to the vampire. He seemed oddly familiar, but I couldn't know because right when I was close enough he lunged at Carlisle biting his neck!_

***End of Carlisle's memory***

I was brought back to reality by a vampire it was Jasper. And Emmett was holding Carlisle back. Oh my god! What did I do! And who was that voice, what am I? Pease help me god…."What was that" Esme growled. And honestly I had no idea!

**A/N: Please review! And hopefully I made this chapter a little longer, I tried my best! Please, please, please review!**


	7. Shutting down is a reflex

**A/N: Pleas e review…please! Please!**

"What do you mean"? I said in an innocently voice, I don't want any one to know that I have no control of my body, not ever again. Esme the motherly vampire was getting more fucking pissed off. Fuck look what am I doing now. Can't I just be normal for once, and not be mean to anyone or _thing_. Wait! Hold up, was I just now caring for vampires! God, they are brainwashing me. I have to stop right now!

"I mean why did you try to seduce _My_ Mate"? I laughed, I just laughed! It's like I no control of my voice, my anger and scorn held the control of my actions. "Trying really, that's what you really just asked. I did more than try honey. I did seduce him, but he kissed me willingly and please feel free to _try_ and stop me".

God she got even more pissed. Stop! Stop I order my body to stop. Fuck! She instantly lunged at me. It was all in slow motion. Her lunging at my throat, Jasper attempting to move me out of the line of fire, Carlisle trying to grab onto Esme, and the rest just watching from the sidelines. My memories came flooding out of the walls I built to protect myself.

***Isabella's past***

"_Isabella" the monster crooned "Isabella. Come out, come out wherever you are". I was crouched behind some velvet curtains, praying to God that IT won't find me. Suddenly something cold was behind me hugging my waist, like how couples do to show affection. I knew instantly it was the monster, I let out a blood curdling scream. "There you are my sweetling. I was looking for, why must you hide. You are so beautiful". I was just looking at him afraid to say anything. _

_His looks were just breath-taking his golden locks just reaching his shoulders his bright evil crimson eyes staring hungrily at me undressing me, fantasizing about me. His lips curved in a smirk showing his white dangerous teeth. But I knew, I knew better then to judge him by his looks. Underneath the godly appearance, there is an evil soulless creature waiting to come out and torture innocent people._

"_You want to play some games with me my sweetling"? Oh god not again, I shook my head furiously making me have a headache. "Oh come on Isabella, pretty, pretty please. For me". Please have mercy on me God. His eyes light up when he probably saw me surrender, like I always do. "Good Izzy, good. Now let's play "who can bite the most" game". No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Why me, why me? He then, or should I say IT slinked his arms down towards my private area, I clamped my eyes shut. No, no, I shivered in disgusted. I think that encouraged him, like I shivered in pleasure instead of the opposite._

_He ripped of my nicely tailored dress; he instructed for me to have well all of them did actually. Now I only had my black lacey bra and panty set. He and the rest of the guys chose that of course, I was never one for wearing lingerie. His eyes turned striking black, licking his lips. He then sunk his teeth into my neck. I held in my scream the unbearably burning pain spreading through my veins. Then I felt his lips go downs kissing making a trail to my right thigh then biting very slowly savoring my blood that is boiling under the pain. I heard him groan, then one of either the doors busted open._

"_Chance" one of the men called "Hey no fair, you can't have her alone". I started to shake oh no. So much fucking pain. But hey I'm used to this, so who should care now. I am just a nobody in a world of everybody's. Then one of the men grabbed me from Chance and picked me up bridal style towards the flamboyant bed. And ripped off the rest of my attire. I then closed my eyes and shut down like the other many times I did. _

**End of Isabella's a past**

I now realized that is what just a vivid memory. Then I suddenly comprehended that I was curled up in the corner rocking back and forth. Singing the lullaby that I remembered before. I stopped instantly lifting my head up to see all the Cullens staring at me in shock, well besides Esme and Rosalie glaring, they were in the very back. "Isabella are you okay"? Carlisle asked concerned. That's weird; I shook my head to clear my thoughts. Then Carlisle came towards me, like shaking my head was my answer. But when he did the flash of Chance over took my vision. And like I always do my instincts took over.

I whimpered and tried to push myself more into the corner. He backed away immediately. And I shut down again like a reflex. I just can't deal with the world and my never ending troubles….


	8. colors are emotions, emotions are colors

**A/N: Sorry I took so long to update…..Please review please pretty, pretty please with a strawberry on top and Gummi Bears at the bottom **

I was somewhere white. That's all I knew. But I also knew that wherever I was, I was safe…..for now.

"Isabella".

I always hated color, because since I look at things "differently" or so they say, all colors have to come with an emotion or as emotion. Like red as anger, green as jealousy, pink as happy or purple as love (the worst). And I can't deal with emotions.

"Isabella"!

And that's why I close myself off from people. I don't want to get hurt anymore I'm tired of getting hurt; I don't want to be weak anymore.

"Isabella can you hear me "? The voice called out that sounded like bells, like vampires.

I don't want to leave! All the colors are coming back, the emotions are too much!

"Isabella if you can hear me open your eyes" the vampire voice said again trying to make the colors come back to me.

The pain will come back no!

"Isabella" another voiced said but still a vampire

No!

"What is happening"? The female vampire asked "I don't know, Isabella" The male vampire replied

NO!

My eyes flew open to the whole world of colors. No. I then studied a little closer and noticed that one I was in a corner huddled in a ball, two the Cullen vamps were closer to me than I liked, staring at me with concern surprisingly even Esme and Rosalie. And thirdly my body felt unusual it felt hot and electrical. "Isabella, are you okay? What is wrong"? Carlisle asked taking move closer to me. Without thinking I cowered from him. Then I heard an muffled gasp, I looked to where it came from. I found the source it was Rosalie.

What did I miss? It seemed like Rosalie and Edward were having a silent conversation, stupid mind reader. Then Edward got really mad and let a slight growl but then Rosalie gave him a knowing look, he relaxed and Rosalie gave a nod, she was right next to me in an instant close enough to touch. I moved away just a little. I looked back over to the rest of their family to notice they were gone. I looked over back at Rosalie to ask where they were. When she interrupted me by answering my question before I even asked it "they want to give us alone time". I only nodded trying to figure out why.

In less…in less she somehow figured out how I really discovered vampires. But if she did then what is she going to do?

**A/N: Aaaaaaannnddd there you have it another chapter complete yea! *I jump up in down*So what you guys think? Again please review or else…. **


	9. Lights and Nicknames

**A/N: Sorry I haven't been updating in while but I was too preoccupied with my other story, it's called: 'On a house called hell' it's a Harry Potter fic. . A Harry potter fic. That involves Tom/OC and maybe a little of Sirius/OC and OC/OC. You should checkout. Anyways please review and tell me how you think this longer than the usual chapters a treat to you ! Please enjoy.**

_Previously_

_Without thinking I cowered from him. Then I heard a muffled gasp, I looked to where it came from. I found the source it was Rosalie._

_What did I miss? It seemed like Rosalie and Edward were having a silent conversation, stupid mind reader. Then Edward got really mad and let a slight growl but then Rosalie gave him a knowing look, he relaxed and Rosalie gave a nod, she was right next to me in an instant close enough to touch. I moved away just a little. I looked back over to the rest of their family to notice they were gone. I looked over back at Rosalie to ask where they were. When she interrupted me by answering my question before I even asked it "they want to give us alone time". I only nodded trying to figure out why._

_In less…in less she somehow figured out how I really discovered vampires. But if she did then what is she going to do?_

**0o0o0o0o0**

We stared at each other for a few minutes with different expressions. Rosalie had a look of pity mixed with an empathetic look. I sneered at the expression, and then I switched my thoughts so I wouldn't panic. Last thing I need to do is go all bonkers on her then she would think the 'best thing' for me would be giving me a one-way ticket to the nearest insane asylum. Then there would gossip amongst the citizens of Forks. About how Isabella Swan went crazy. I could actually imagine the rumor and the little twits' facial expression pass through their faces. First it would be shock then they would reply to the gossip and say "I always knew that girl was a head case". Then they would switch from a 'knowing' look to a scared one, thinking what if the insane girl escapes? What if she comes after me, I mean I always thought she was jealous of me…as if, if I am going to escape and kill those little dumb asses. And if I did escape I wouldn't go for them the first people I would come for would be the vampire's, I would kill them than have a nice cold beer or some other alcoholic beverage. Than go bat shit crazy on towns' folk and start murdering the adults….Wait, wait, wait! Maybe I am crazy, because who make a plan to do that other than a crazy person! Gods no panicking dumb fuck!

I finally got impatient from the silence plus I wanted to stop thinking on how I am going start the Forks massacre….Hmm I like that name-no! "So what do you want"? I asked while straightened up so I was sitting against the wall and not curled up in fetal position. She gave me a question look but didn't mention anything. "I uh um I just wanted to- you know what I am going to be blunt and say I know you were raped or something similar to that situation and if you want to talk to me you can, I've been there it's scary but I can help". She hurried out in a very unlike vampire way, I thought she was the bitch in the family. Wait did she just say she was raped before? Oh my gods. How, who? I am going to kill that man. My vision turned red and I looked at her straight in the eyes. Her eyes widen by a lot when I did this I don't know what she saw but it scared her for some reason. I could literally feel the scared and terrified emotion rolling off her like tsunami. "Who raped you"? It came out as a whisper but a deadly whisper. She looked even more taken aback by my question.

"I-what do you mean"?

"I mean who was the disgusting vile man that raped you"?

I was getting impatient she needs to tell me the man who raped her because by gods if I let him get away with what he did to the girl, an innocent poor helpless girl damn it!

"Why do you want to know"?

Gods is she serious? "So I can kill him you idiot. If you think, if you think I will just let a vile creature like that get unpunished your sorely mistaking! I will never let anyone go through something horrible as that-that experiences its awful and painful! AND I SOONER LET THAT HAPPEN TO ME AGAIN AND AGAIN RAHTER THAN LET ANY OTHER GIRL OR BOY HAVE TO GO THROUGH THAT!" I screeched. She looked shell shocked from my words and all was silence. In till all the other stupid vampires came running in the room.

"What happen"?

"I heard some screaming".

"Did she hurt you"?

"Is there something wrong"?

And all of other vampires looked at Rosalie for the answers. She just shook her head and looked like she was about to cry, they snapped their heads towards me accusing me blaming me. As if I hurt her! Shouldn't they be asking me if she hurt me! Where is all this anger coming from? She ran towards me and started hugging me and dry sobbing. What the fuck? I could practically hear their thoughts thinking the same thing 'what the fuck'. "Uh honey what's wrong"? Emmett asked Rosalie, she just shook her head some more and continued to dry sob. Good thing she couldn't cry real tears or my clothes would have been drenched in salty tears. Okay now I can't breathe, can't breathe. She must have felt my body tightening up from loss of oxygen so she let go. But put both of her hands on my shoulders, so cold, so cold, so cold, so cold! See told you I act crazy, I began to think bitterly preparing for what my action would, knowing I would have no say in it. I just hope we don't start making out because that would be weird, very weird indeed. Great know I remember the time I made out with Lexi; she is a good kisser surprisingly, cherry chap stick ha!

But no, I did not go all Katy Perry on her. I only laughed a little crazy, but not that crazy like before. "No darlings, nothing wrong between me and Rosa" I answered since Rosa looked like she wasn't going to answer any time soon, hold on since when did 'the bitch' Rosalie become Rosa? They were probably thinking the same thing, well except for Rosa. She just was smiling. Then Jasper decided to voice the question everybody else was thinking.

"Uh what happened between you two"?

Rosa and I shared knowing looks she just ever so slightly nodded and I gave a little giggle. I took one of Rosa's cold pale hands and pulled her towards Sergeant Jasper Whitlock. Oh-kay me lost here, anyone else? Then when we were close enough to Jasper Whitlock, with me in front Jasper Whitlock and Rosa behind him. I took Rosa's other cold pale hand, so now Jasper Whitlock was in the middle of us and me and Rosa started skipping around.

"Do you really want know" I asked childishly, what is wrong with me?

"Yeah do you really want to know"? Rosa taunted, also in a childish tone.

We continued to skip while everyone was staring in shock at us, mostly Jasper Whitlock. He slowly nodded his. We continued to skip, while the world was spinning fast. I looked at Rosa.

"Should we tell him"?

"I don't know can we trust him"?

"And if we can't" I goaded slightly

"Then we"- Rosa started

"Take all and never give back" both of us said together.

_Faster._

"Okay maybe" she decided

_Faster_.

I gave huff "that's not a straight answer" I whined

"No I guess it isn't".

_Faster._

"What is going on"? Alice finally yelled. Gods that pixie is annoying. What, did she have not enough pixie dust today? Is she jealous between me and Rosa? Hang on that's it she is jealous ha! So hilarious. Me and Rosa shared look again, and then both of us busted up laughing like little girls. This made us laugh harder.

_Faster_.

Emmett tried to grab my Rosa, mine! I growled and glared at him that would make hell freeze. I stopped skipping _Faster_ a voiced urged but I ignored it, I barley heard Rosa whine because we stopped skipping. I gave her a quick look and shushed her. I then glided towards the stupid Bloodsucker named Emmett. He looked scared and at awe. But I just kept on glaring and slowly moved towards him, while Rosa was just watching jumping up and down knowing what was going to happen. I was slightly amused by this.

I stopped right in front of Emmett "You do not touch **my** Rosa, you will not talk to her, you will not even think of her. If you shall I will rip of your testicles and then shove it down your throat. Then I will proceed to rip you limb from limb and keep your fingers as a necklace showing who every tries or does touches my things or people what will happen to them" I hissed dangerously. I heard him whimper in fear and I reveled in it the fear, the pain, the everything! _Faster_. Rosa then decided to step in knowing that I might end up killing him right here and now "Stop it Vrlina, I don't need my Mate dead" she said in an exasperated tone. I kept on staring.

"Lina please I love him"! She cried out, damn it she knows I can't deny her when she uses that nickname. _STOP_. "But he isn't right for you"! I said not wanting to back down. "Yes he is, he gets me, he knows me please just please". I sighed and shook my head in defeat. "Fine your fault" I muttered. She just laughed and went over to Emmett and me, and then hugged Emmett. "So does anyone care to share what happened"? Asked Carlisle kindly. Giggle, giggle.

"Nothing much Carls nothing much" I giggled again. I began to walk over to him when Esme ran in front of him in a protective stance. I smirked "Nothin's going to happen, so don't get your panties in bunch. Gods I just kiss a mate's vampire a couple times and they get all defensive on me". I heard someone laugh. I snapped my head towards the noise, it was Edward. Edward was the one who laughed he's he is just so….intriguing, fascinating, weird? What! Soon everything went white and I heard screaming "uh oh" I heard someone whisper, but I couldn't see who it was because of the blinding light. But I could tell it was a male.

**A/N: SOO what do you think? Like it hate it? Review! Oh and by the way between Bella and Rosalie is like best friends/sisters, not girl on girl if you were thinking that. Any way review please….. **


	10. Truly or chpt 11

**A/N: Disclaimer: I do not in any shape or form own twilight, oh and please review!**

When I was little I always believed that my father could protect me from the bad guys and the monsters, boy how wrong was I! Just a little after I turned thirteen I met _them_. They seemed so kind, so nice, so normal. But soon the world I knew would change. I just wish I could have stayed home that day or shut the hell up. But no the fates wouldn't have that. I just had to be the annoying little twit, the girl who couldn't-no wouldn't-shut the hell up.

There were three of **them**. Three men. They looked the part though. They were in there prime age of life; all hot and cocky. I was of course oblivious to all the signs and warnings, but that didn't matter. No it didn't, no what mattered was that they chose me. They chose me apposed to all the other unaware and more prettier girls. I still to this day do not know exactly why they chose me, in fact I believe that the fates just were out to get me. When they first took me, I thought all the same unoriginal and overly-used thoughts of a _kidnapee_. But soon I got over that, I knew that I couldn't escape; so I never tried (after the several attempts that landed me big punishments of course). But when I did finally escape from there horrid clutches, I didn't know what to do. After years with no contacts with any human beings whatsoever; I had no where to go. Which in time led me to where I am now: Forks, WA. What a delightful little quaint town that sent me to my death. How wonderful that sounds, it just rolls of my tongue.

When I woke up from the little 'mishap' I knew I needed to stop being pathetic and weak because if I ever passed out with them just over something as little and mere as that. I would surely get a thrice as hell of a beating. I got up quickly and started assessing the room seeing the layout in my head and formulating plans to escape if I needed. They all consequently were in front of the only possible exit. FML. Wait that already happened.

"Isabella are you okay"? Edward asked he seemed truly concerned, ha as if.

I looked at him wearily and slowly nodded my head, seeing no harm in answering his question. "Could you please tell us what is going on"? He asked looking like he was about to save the world or something. "What do you mean" I snapped coldly.

"Don't be an idiot there is something wrong with you. How else could you explain what happened to Carlisle's and Jasper's reactions to you? And what did you and Rosalie talk about when we left"? Esme growled with venom.

"Wrong? Something wrong with me? Well when you have too many bad experiences with fuckin' vampires, of course there is going TO BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME! GODS I WISH YOU WOULD DIE! DON'T YOU EVER THINK? Honestly I want to know. Because how can you expect someone to be warm and _normal_ to you! When you are fucking gods damned spawns of hell! Did you once ever think about us: the people who get tortured and anything else you can think of by the hands of leeches! Or did you ever once think where you get _your_ extra time. Because newsflash buddy you are supposed to be DEAD! So how on earth ARE YOU GETTING YOUR FUCKIN' EXTRA GODS DAMNED time. You didn't, did you? That's what I thought" my voice was hoarse form the screaming, well I was used to so...

I looked at the shocked faces bar from Rosalie who kinda not really but more so than others knew that tid bit of information. I also saw Esme looking rightfully ashamed with herself. "I-I didn't know" She whispered " of course you didn't" I muttered. I sank onto the ground hugging my knees trying not cry, which was proving to be difficult; I just couldn't take it. Not anymore, all of my locked up emotions came rushing out. When I escaped I never dealt with the emotions, sure I dealt with the panic attacks and the scars. But I just pushed away all the emotions and tried my best to act like it didn't happen. I used to pretend that it happened to some other poor girl. That it was just a story told to me and that the supernatural world stayed in the world of fiction. But sometimes I have one of those days when all is hell and I could barely breathe much less get through the day. I am truly 100% fucked up.

**A/N: Please review! It would be really helpful.**


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